How do you hope again when you’ve hoped for something for so long that you’re tired of hoping?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
There are things I’ve prayed about so many times that I almost don’t know what else to say to God about them. At some point, the prayer starts sounding the same. You still want it, but the excitement is gone. You still believe God can do it, but somewhere along the way, you became afraid to believe too much.
I remember sitting in my room, searching on Google what hope and faith actually mean.
Lol. I really was afraid to hope again. I felt my body warning me, “Don’t you dare believe again. You’ll get hurt again.”
And honestly, I understood why I felt that way.
When you’ve believed for something, prayed about it, waited for it, and watched it not happen, disappointment can teach you how to protect yourself.
Sometimes disappointment doesn’t look like walking away from God. Sometimes it looks like becoming afraid to expect anything from Him.
You stop getting excited. You stop imagining what could happen. You tell yourself, “If it happens, it happens. I’m not getting my hopes up again.”
Because hoping can feel dangerous when you’ve hoped before and been disappointed.
But the truth is, I still wanted to hope.
I still believe God is good. I still believe His Word. I still believe that His Word never returns to Him void. And I’m learning that faith is not based on time. Just because something hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean God has forgotten what He said.
I don’t know when the answer will come. I don’t know what it will look like. And I don’t want to pretend that waiting is easy or that I don’t get tired of it.
But maybe faith isn’t pretending you have no questions. Maybe hope is choosing to believe again even when you’re afraid of being disappointed again.
It reminds me of Peter.
He had fished all night and caught nothing. Then Jesus told him to put the nets out again. I imagine there must have been a part of him that thought, “What’s the point? I’ve already tried.”
And yet, he did it.
Sometimes I think that is what God is asking us to do too.
Not to pretend the first disappointment didn’t happen. Not to forget how tired we are. But to trust Him enough to try again.
So maybe this is the prayer:
God, I’m scared to hope again. I’m scared to believe again because I know what disappointment feels like. But I don’t want fear to decide what I believe about You. Help me trust You again. Help me open my heart again. Help me believe that what You have spoken is still true, even when I cannot see it yet.
Maybe I don’t need to know how it will happen.
Maybe I just need enough faith to throw the net in again.
And then God said, “Throw in the net again.”
Your sister ,
Sharon Paulina Boye
September 15, 2026
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