P. Boye Motivations

A multiplier,
Fruitful is she
Strong and beautiful.
Bold and courageous
Delightful.

An incubator,
A woman, the one who gives the world life.
The one who makes a house a home.
She creates abundance with the little given to her.

Unique,
Not made to be “like”,
But made as

Her hair is as beautiful as the horizon
Her eyes, describe her vision
Her scars, her strength
Her hands, her capabilities

Limitless is she.

The real woman in me is written to the next generation ❤️

A few years ago, I struggled with the idea of being a girl, soon to be, woman.

I am called, “Delight“. I come from a home of 4 men and 1 woman.
I grew up, not knowing why I had been placed in the body of a “female”.

I know a man who lives as a Lion. An Emperor, who roars and rules the affairs of the home, so bravely, yet so lovingly.  A man of great esteem and good character. This man taught me to be courageous, he taught me to respect, and carry myself with dignity and pride. A man, that defines love so deeply and yet, so softly.   He is a leader. He is a protector. An ally, and a provider. Slow to anger, he chastises with love. I call him, “Daddy“. His chest, a safe place to lie. His words, are those you can trust. He is the head of the home. The best attribute of this man is that his Head is covered by the,”King of glory”.

I was born to know 3 Kings, I call them, “brothers.”
These 3 men,  represent 3 key areas of my life.
Ever seen young men, so daring, humble and intelligent?
They correct me with one hand and bring me to close with the other.  They rule the affairs of whatever is put in their hands with wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.
They are strong. They define the word, ” man ” so well.
The first one is called, “Beloved“; A man of few words but great wisdom. His love pierces through the storms.
The second, ” Sweetheart“; A friend to all. His words are as soothing as the gulp of water when thirsty.
The third, “Precious“; Disciplined. His smile captivates the heart in the toughest of times.

I know A woman.
Blessed is she.
She derives her strength from the spring of life ( God ).
She wakes up at night to prepare for the day while her children sleep.
Fearless is she.
Her correction is as the waves of the sea, it hits you in all directions. Yet, just when it calms, you could live your whole life in the presence of her love.
She disciplines, to bring out the best in you.
Never weak, always strong.
She makes all things beautiful.
Her smile is as the blossom in the garden.
Her wisdom, unmatchable.
Her home is filled with laughter.
The gatekeeper of her home, she is.
Her husband trust in her.
I call her, “Mummy“

As I grew up, struggling daily to understand why I’m made to be called, “she”. After all, I knew more men than women.
I got to experience life differently.
I saw how hard it’s to be a man, and yet, still, how hard it is to be a woman.
Times without number, I questioned the reason for my existence as a lady.

Which did God really create me to be?
If He created me to be a woman, why does it have to be so hard being one?

These men don’t have to take care of their hair as much as I do. 
They don’t have to moisturize their skin all the time.
They could wear whatever they wanted to, so far it looked nice, why not?

Makeup?
For what? They don’t need that.

I, on the other hand,  have to have my hair laid in a particular way.
Dress a particular way.
Walk a particular way.
Speak a particular way.
And yet, learn to keep the home for the days of the storms and the days so peaceful.
To be a woman, who sacrifices.
One day, soon to be called mother
But now, called daughter.
And oh yeah, let’s not forget the hormonal changes and mood swings that come with,” being a girl”.
For some weird reason,  one day, you are just emotional, and you don’t even know why. The next day, the slightest of things seem irritating to look at. Other days, you are extremely happy.
How about the times, you are just immune to everything, like,  no emotions, at all! You are not happy, not sad, not angry; just not feeling, anything, at all.

Each monthly cycle comes with its own mood.

🤦‍♀️
I just didn’t understand myself.

You ask me, ” what do you want “
My response, ” I don’t know “
Cause I want everything but not everything🤷‍♀️.
There are details to things, you know?

And with all of these, struggling to get my grades, be a good daughter/sister, and learn to know who I am, “Just be a girl!”, was what I was told by the society.

I saw how my brothers portrayed certain characters and I wanted to act the way they portrayed them.
After all, they walk, I walk, they talk, I talk, they speak, I speak.  If they can, I can, right ?
The problem, however, is,” I am not male”
I can’t do things as they do.
We may do things alike, but never the same.
They way they greet was different from how I was to greet.
In Nigeria, where I grew up, the males would lie on the floor, to greet elders. I would have to kneel.

Why can’t I lie on the floor too? That seemed easier to me cause I had 4 other people doing it, compared to one (my mother).

Why can’t I dress like them?  Why can’t I speak like them? Or, walk like them? I didn’t get why I couldn’t just be,” human” and enjoy it without being conscious of the body I live in.

After years and years of going back and forth with loving the few days, I get to be adored as a girl and hating the other days, I’ve to sacrifice and be overly conscious of my skin as a girl.

It took me time, to evolve into being the Lily that I am as a girl child.
Now, I know who I am and I must confess, It’s one of the best feelings, to know I’ve been placed in the body of a “female”.

I know now, and I say this with confidence.

Please, say this out loud

“I, (insert your name) wasn’t born just to exist.
I was born to fill a gap.
Born not because I was wanted, but because I am needed.
I take pride now, in knowing that I am trusted to act as the keeper of the home.
To know, my voice matters, my laughter matters.
That I, being in this body, matters.
My body is beautiful.
My scars; my beauty marks.
I am a multiplier. I have the ability to be fruitful and to dominate.
No matter what mood I am, God has given me the ability to handle them and help others as I do.
I am a helper, and I take pride in this.
I am a good thing.
I am capable.

I don’t need to pretend. I love my skin. My hormones don’t control me. I am a loving person either ways.
I am not disrespectful, just fearless.
Favor comes with knowing me!”

Although life may not always be fair to us, know, that in you, dear girl, lies the future of tomorrow.

To the girl out there, struggling with her identity,
asking herself, “am I beautiful enough?” Fully breastfed or not. Big behind or small.  Short hair or long hair. Tall or short. Chubby or Thin. American Indian, Asian, Black, Native Hawaiian or White. Know, that you are beautiful, beautiful enough.

I am Boye, Paulina Sharon
And I am proud to be a woman
To be from Africa.
I’m proud to be a helper.
I’m proud to be, ME!

Are you ?

As we celebrate, international women’s day on the 8th of March, I wish you,”
Happy international women day”, 👸

Boye, Paulina Sharon
6th March, 2020