Dear Reader,
If you are reading this, chances are that you’ve felt the weight of secrecy – of a battle waged in the shadows. You’ve smiled publicly but cried privately. You’ve danced in church but struggled in the dark. You’ve spoken in tongues, yet the chains still feel real.
This is for you. Not to expose, but to restore. Not to condemn, but to call higher.
Let’s talk about the things no one talks about in church. The ones we often pray around but rarely pray through: stealing, masturbation, and pornography.
Yes, I said them. Because the enemy wins most when we keep quiet.
LET ME GIVE AN EXAMPLE
Emmanuel was a church leader. Anointed, gifted, the kind that quoted Scripture with ease and prayed like thunder. But behind the power was a prison.
It started with curiosity; late-night browsing that led to soft content, then full-on pornography. At first, he’d pray after every fall. Cry, repent, and promise God it wouldn’t happen again. But soon, guilt made him feel distant from God. Shame wrapped around him like a second skin.
He couldn’t confess. “What would they think?” he told himself. He tried fasting. He tried deleting apps. He even gave away his phone. But it wasn’t a device problem, it was a heart issue.
Stealing also entered quietly. Small amounts at first. From group funds, from work reimbursements. Just enough to “replace later.” But later never came.
He led others, but he was chained. He was fighting, but not free.
What Is Happening to Our Generation?
We live in a world that normalizes sin and vilifies repentance. Memes make light of masturbation. Series and movies subtly glorify theft as hustle. Porn is marketed as a stress-reliever. Even some Christians have said, “God understands – it’s just a phase.”
But here’s the truth: God does understand; He understands that sin kills, slowly and silently.
The enemy knows he can’t always get you to deny God. So instead, he’ll get you to live a double life – faithful in public, fractured in private.
The Slippery Slope of Secret Sin
Sin thrives in secrecy. The longer it remains hidden, the more it grows roots. Masturbation and pornography, though often laughed off as “normal,” have deep spiritual implications. They reshape your view of intimacy, distort your perception of people, and eventually isolate you emotionally and spiritually.
Stealing, whether money, time, or opportunities, seems small, but it reflects a deeper distrust in God’s provision. Every act of theft is a declaration that God’s timing isn’t enough.
Biblical Examples and Reflections
- Achan (Joshua 7): Achan secretly took what God forbade. His private sin brought public defeat for Israel.
- David (2 Samuel 11): His sin with Bathsheba began in secret. But hidden sin always finds a way to the surface.
- Ephesians 5:11: “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.”
God doesn’t expose to embarrass. He exposes to heal. He shines light so that we might be free.
Steps to Freedom
1. Confession is not weakness; it’s war.
Bring it to the light. Find a trusted mentor, pastor, or accountability partner. Tell the truth. Sin loses its grip when it loses its secrecy.
2. Stop relying on your willpower.
Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23), not the flesh. You need God’s strength, not just your determination.
3. Replace, don’t just remove.
Don’t just delete porn. Fill that time with the Word, worship, or a godly hobby. Idleness is the devil’s workshop.
IN FACT, here is an extra tip. The moment you find yourself about to watch porn, masturbate, or do wrong, ask the Holy Spirit to ‘Distract your focus’!
YES! HE IS YOUR TEACHER, A GUIDE INTO ALL TRUTH, TELL HIM TO HELP YOU RIGHT IN THAT MOMENT.
4. Forgive yourself.
Some of you have confessed, but shame still clings to your soul. Remember Romans 8:1 – “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
5. Set boundaries.
Install filters. Change routines. Sleep early. Avoid late-night scrolling. And if it means ending a friendship that fuels your fall, do it. Your soul is more important.
Lessons to Be Learned
- What you tolerate in secret will eventually dominate your life.
- Holiness is not perfection, it’s surrender.
- Sin may feel good now, but it always demands more than you were willing to give.
- There is no addiction too deep that God’s grace can’t uproot.
Dear Reader, you are not dirty. You are not damaged beyond repair. You are not disqualified from God’s love. His grace doesn’t just cover, it cleanses. He sees the worst of you and still calls you worthy.
Don’t let guilt keep you from the One who heals. Don’t wait until you “feel holy” to return. The Father is not standing with a whip. He’s standing with open arms.
Prayer
Lord, I confess that I have fallen short. I’ve battled in the dark for too long. Today, I bring it into the light. Heal me. Cleanse me. Restore me. Teach me to walk in holiness again, not from fear, but from love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Yours faithfully
Sharon Paulina Boye
May 12, 2025
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