P. Boye Motivations

Lol, for real though, “Do you know yourself ?”

Hey there😁, Welcome back.
I hope your week has been good thus far?

I know you are perhaps waiting to know the inspiration behind this topic. I mean, how can I ask you if you know yourself.
” Of course! How won’t I know myself? “, you may say to yourself.
Lol, you probably think you know yourself more than people even know you… Well, that may, in fact, be correct.

Let’s get right into this message though, shall we?

Firstly, how do you know when you know someone? When can you confidently say, ” I know this person”?
The typical answer would be to say, ” err, I talk to them often, spend time with each other, we tell each other almost everything, I know their secrets, I know their family members, I have seen them in the good and bad times, we just connect, etc..”

That’s great, but permit me to say, that the fact you know someone’s habits/ disposition today, doesn’t mean you know the person.
Take note of the words, ” habit, dispositions and today”

Lol, have you ever been close to someone you think you know really well and then perhaps you aren’t so close anymore, “all of a sudden”, they are another person/ have a different “character”?

Do you remember how perplexed you were? Perhaps, your response to their new behavior is, “they changed or the person may have gone through a really tough time.” Lol, did they really change though or could that be who they’ve always been?
I don’t know but hold that thought ☝, Just saying 🤫.

The fact that someone is acting a certain way ‘now’ does not, I repeat, does not mean that’s who or how they are, please! Understand this.

Now, to you “gan gan” ( Nigerian slang for, “yourself”), how do you know you know yourself?
Hehe😂.

I’ve realized, the typical way to believe you know yourself is to say, “oh, I know what makes me happy, I know what makes me sad, I know what my interest is, I know my biggest fears, I know my purpose, I know my values, etc”
Well, alright😉

Understand, however, you are a composition of your past, present, and future.
The fact that cats are your biggest fears now doesn’t mean they are actually, “your” biggest fears, you haven’t just encountered your actual biggest fear, which may result in maybe crossing the road. You don’t know 🤷‍♀️.

So, we allow our experiences of the past and present define our knowledge of ourselves and as a result of that, we limit our future selves because of our fixed mindset of who we are.

Remember, your future self, is still, ” you”.

Let me explain this better. Let’s assume at the age of 14, you described yourself as not being easily angered…

Now, how is it that you are 23 and automatically, you get to a point in your life where you are now easily angered? Lol, was it juju?
Did the you of yesterday jump out of your body and a new you appear?

Another example, The you of yesterday used to describe yourself as happy, and now, the you of today defines yourself as indifferent, what will you of tomorrow define you as?

Do you really know yourself?

Some may say, “there’s no fixed you, you’re an accumulation of what you do with your time, who you spend your time with, etc. As a human being, you are made to adjust to situations and circumstances. You are not a permanent thing, you evolve, you upgrade with time, circumstances and your mindset.”

That’s true. However, I believe your values can shape you to not be easily swayed by situations and circumstances.
If you have the “evolving” mindset in every single thing, you would then say, because I evolve as a human being, as a boy, I didn’t steal, now I am grown, I can steal. Free will, right?

If however, you have, maintain and develop your values as you grow, no matter the situation, timings, etc, your values will shape your decision and choices thereby resulting in your character which one way or the other, defines you and helps you know yourself better.

That’s why a person before quarantine and a person during quarantine can be totally opposite.
Did the person switch bodies? No.
Situations reveal dimensions of people.
Good and bad, they both reveal the real you and what one really values.

It’s therefore important to ensure to develop the right mindset from the onset and not just go with the flow of things. Learn to build the right character, build the right values for your tomorrow as well and not just your today and stick to it through discipline.
This I believe will help in getting to know yourself and be that person that does not conform to situations anyhow and over time; There’s 5 different you for different things.

Learning this principle will help protect your integrity.

I’m not saying,”don’t grow/become better and improve” , I’m saying, “don’t be 5 different people”. That’s all.

Sharon Paulina Boye,
17th April 2020.