Dear Royalty,
There are some stories I wish I could rewrite – not because I disobeyed, but because I didn’t walk the process well.
I said no… but I said it scared.
I waited… but I waited impatiently.
I obeyed… but my heart was still clinging to what I’d let go of.
Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you’ve done “the right thing,” but it still aches. You honored God outwardly, but inside, it felt like you were breaking.
And the worst part? You feel like you failed because it didn’t feel noble, it just felt painful.
But here’s what I’m learning:
The process is the obedience.
And obedience isn’t just a moment, it’s a whole journey.
The Pain of Process Is Still Worship
God is not only looking for your yes, He’s watching how you walk out that yes.
He sees your tears after the breakup.
He sees your silence after declining that job.
He sees the ache when you walk away from sin and it still calls your name.
He sees the fight to choose faith over fear, again and again.
Obedience without intimacy/reverence for God becomes performance.
But obedience in intimacy becomes worship.
When the Good Thing Isn’t a God Thing
I once turned down a job that looked perfect. It paid well. It aligned with my goals. I had even planned how I will allocate my income. It seemed like an answered prayer.
But deep down, God whispered, “This is not Me.”
Saying no wasn’t easy.
It felt like loss.
Like failure.
Like confusion.
But the real test wasn’t just in saying no. It was:
Can I walk away from what I want because I love God more than I trust what looks good?
Sometimes we idolize the channel instead of the Source.
That job became a savior in my heart.
That relationship became a promise I clung to more than the Promiser.
That habit became comfort when God felt too silent.
🧎🏾♀️ Obedience is More Than “Don’t Sin”
It’s easier to talk about waiting than to actually wait.
Especially when waiting means being misunderstood, looked over, or painfully alone.
But waiting is not punishment.
It’s a holy place.
It’s where God breaks idols, silences noise, and separates desire from dependence.
It’s where He whispers:
“You’re not behind.”
“You’re not forgotten.”
“You’re being preserved.”
Waiting with a Contaminated Heart
Here’s the hard truth however :
You can’t wait on God in sin, fear, or doubt.
We say we’re trusting, but deep down we’re checking their page.
We’re hoping they’ll call back.
We’re still fantasizing about that job.
We’re still making room for secret sin.
But waiting with divided loyalty is not true surrender.
It’s stalling obedience….it is disobedience
Scripture Focus: Isaiah 40:27–31 (KJV)
“Why sayest thou, O Jacob… My way is hid from the Lord?”
“Hast thou not known… the Lord fainteth not?”
“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength…”
Waiting isn’t weakness, it’s how God renews strength.
It’s how He mounts you up like an eagle, quiet, focused, lifted.
Galatians 6:9 reminds us: “Let us not grow weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”
Fainting doesn’t always look like quitting.
Sometimes it’s just settling.
Settling for a counterfeit because hope hurts too much.
Dear Royalty, This Is For You
You who said no but still ache.
You who walked away from the job, the relationship, the addiction – but still hear it whisper.
You who feel like you failed because you’re tired from doing the right thing.
You didn’t fail.
God is not punishing you, He’s purifying you.
Don’t faint.
Don’t rush.
Don’t cling to what you’ve already surrendered.
If the enemy can’t get you to rebel, he’ll try to get you to rush.
If he can’t get you to sin, he’ll get you to settle.
But God’s plans are too holy to be microwaved.
His love too deep to be rushed.
His promises too rich to be built on a shaky process.
Final Words
Dear Royalty,
We are the generation that knows how to say yes.
But we must become the generation that knows how to wait well.
Let the process prune you.
Let the no’s protect you.
Let the silence sanctify you.
Because the goal is not just to look obedient.
The goal is to become more like Jesus.
A sister in the waiting room. A daughter learning the weight of obedience
Sharon Paulina Boye
November 3, 2025
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