Dear Royalty,
You’ve prayed. You’ve fasted. You’ve kept yourself. You’ve smiled at every wedding you attended and said congratulations while something silently cracked inside you. You’re now 39. No ring. No romantic conversations. Not even a hopeful flirtation. Just you, your God, and the constant question echoing in your mind: “Lord, why me?, GOD, WHEN?”
This letter is not from someone who pities you. It’s from someone who sees you, recognizes the strength it takes to wait, to remain pure, and to still believe when society, biology, and sometimes your own heart scream otherwise.
MAYBE YOU ARE LIKE AKUA….
Akua always dreamed of being a wife and mother. She was raised in a Christian home, taught to honor God in her body and her choices. While friends experimented, she waited. When others dated recklessly, she prayed for direction. Now she’s 39. Never kissed. Never dated. And never been asked out seriously.
She has a good job, loves the Lord deeply, serves in ministry, and supports others. Yet sometimes when she lies awake at night, scrolling through baby pictures on Instagram or wedding reels on TikTok, she wonders if something is wrong with her. Why haven’t things “aligned” for her the way they have for others?
Once, she heard a lady say during a women’s conference, “If you’re still single at 30, it means something is off.” Akua smiled on the outside but bled internally. That evening, she cried out to God not because she didn’t trust Him, but because her soul was tired.
The Pressure to Settle or Compromise
In today’s world, being 39/Mid 20s and single feels like a scarlet letter, especially in certain Christian communities. You may hear whispers like:
“She’s too picky.”
“Maybe she’s spiritually blind.”
“Could it be a generational curse?”
But here’s the truth: You’re not cursed. You’re not broken. You’re not forgotten. You are chosen. And yes, you’re still holy.
The pressure to “just pick someone” increases as years go by. The temptation to lower your standards, ignore red flags, or even engage in sin just to feel something, anything, is real. But holiness is not a punishment. It is a gift. Purity is not a burden. It is a testimony.
Biblical Reflections and Encouragement
Consider Elizabeth, the wife of Zechariah. The Bible says in Luke 1:6 that she and her husband were “righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments,” yet they were childless and advanced in years. People probably whispered. Yet God had a purpose for her womb – to carry John the Baptist, the forerunner of Christ.
Ruth was a widow and probably not a young woman when Boaz found her. Yet God orchestrated her steps in such a way that she became the great-grandmother of Jesus.
God is not in a hurry. He is in control. Time does not intimidate Him. He is the God of seasons, not seconds.
As I write this, I want you to know how much I understand this phase. Sometimes you question if you understand faith. You question waiting and being still. You want to move on but you can’t. There is a “but” somewhere. God, when will you answer me?
Lessons to Be Learned
- Singleness is not a curse; it is a calling in this season
Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7, calls singleness a gift. It’s not a lesser gift. It is just a different one. Use this time to deepen your relationship with God, serve without distraction, travel, build, and pour into others. - Holiness is possible, even when hormones rage
God is not blind to your desires. He created them. But He also gives the grace to manage them. If you fall, repent. If you struggle, ask for help. But don’t redefine what’s holy just because it’s hard. - Your value is not tied to your marital status
You are not “waiting to be completed.” You are already whole in Christ. A spouse does not validate your existence. God already called you “very good.”– (Creation story in Genesis) - Don’t marry just because you’re tired, don’t marry because you are desperate.
Tiredness makes us vulnerable. Desperation blurs discernment. Remember, marriage is not the finish line. It’s the beginning of another assignment. Don’t choose based on fatigue, choose by faith. - Your story is not over
Some met their husbands at 40. Some had babies at 45. Some married widowers/ widows who brought them into new joy. God’s timing is rarely early, but it is never late.
Below are some extra tips i think are key
- GO OUT!
- LOOK GOOD!
- LET YOUR HAIR SMELL NICE, CARRY A HONEY ATMOSPHERE AROUND YOU.
- BE APPROACHABLE AND SMILE EVEN WHEN AT THE SUPERMARKET.
- BE KIND, NOT EASILY ANGERED
- DEVELOP YOUR CHARACTER
- BE OPEN TO PEOPLE CONNECTING YOU TO OTHERS.
- LIVE FULLY
Final Encouragement
Dear Royalty, keep your crown on. Don’t trade your birthright for temporary comfort. The world may not celebrate your purity, but Heaven does. Your discipline is worship. Your tears are incense. Your wait is not wasted.
God has not forgotten you. In fact, He’s writing a story that will bring Him glory and heal others through your testimony.
When the time is right, you won’t have to force it. You won’t have to beg for attention, shrink to be chosen, or compromise your calling. You’ll walk into a partnership that mirrors Christ and the church, full of love, purpose, and peace.
And until then, live. Laugh. Dance. Build. Serve. Breathe. And trust.
Prayer
Lord, I’m tired. I’m trying to stay faithful, but sometimes the silence hurts. Help me to trust Your timing, even when I don’t understand.
Teach me to love this season and not waste it in bitterness. Keep me pure in heart and body. And when the time comes, help my heart to be ready to receive your son/daughter. Let it be beautiful, far beyond anything I imagined. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Your Sister
Sharon Paulina Boye
May 19, 2025
Leave a Reply