Dear reader,
you might be wondering why many of my past blog posts have focused so much on handling conflict. The reason is simple—no matter where you are in life, the greater purpose God has called you to will involve people. You cannot go through life without engaging with others, and if you don’t learn how to navigate the complexities of human relationships, it will be extremely difficult to fulfill your purpose.
The reality is, people—whether family, friends, colleagues, or even strangers—will always play a role in your journey. And with people, there will be conflict, misunderstandings, and moments of pain. But how you handle these conflicts will determine how far you go in life and in fulfilling the purpose God has for you.
That’s why today, I want to talk about something very personal, something that I’ve had to grapple with myself: forgiveness. Yes, I know I’ve written on forgiveness before, but not in the way I will today. This time, it’s more intimate. It’s not just a general discussion of the importance of forgiving—it’s a story from my own life, a story about a person I considered close to me, and an incident that left a scar on my heart.
The Incident That Left a Scar
Two years ago, I experienced something that shook me. It wasn’t just a misunderstanding; it wasn’t just a matter of miscommunication. This person, someone I trusted, did something that deeply hurt me. And I’m not talking about words alone. No, there was proof—hard evidence of what had been done. The betrayal wasn’t in my mind; it was something real. And as much as I tried to convince myself that I had moved past it, I realized something quite unsettling.
I still carried the weight of that hurt, even though I thought I had forgiven. I had even deleted the person from my thoughts for a while, thinking, “I’m fine. I’ve let it go.” But the truth hit me in a simple yet powerful way.
The Unexpected Moment of Truth
I was going through my old messages, looking for something else entirely, when my eyes fell on a picture I had saved. A picture that held the proof of what had happened. The moment I saw it, all the old feelings came rushing back—hurt, betrayal, confusion. In that instant, I found myself asking the same question I had asked two years ago: “Why?” Why did this person leave such a deep scar on my heart? Why did they have to hurt me in that way?
And let me tell you—this wasn’t just any scar. This was the kind of hurt that made you wonder if people who you loved and trusted could really hurt you like this. It was a gut-punch that made you question everything.
The worst part? I had convinced myself that I was “over it.” But in that moment, it became clear that I was still holding onto it. The anger, the bitterness—it was still there, lying dormant, just waiting for the right trigger.
The Holy Spirit’s Gentle Whisper
As I sat there, feeling overwhelmed by the flood of emotions, something remarkable happened. In the midst of my pain, I felt the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit. It wasn’t loud or forceful; it was soft, calm, but clear as day. “Delete the picture.”
And at first, I hesitated. I thought, “But this is proof of what they did to me. This is what they did, and I need to remember it!” But the Holy Spirit’s voice didn’t waver. It was a simple instruction: “Delete the picture.”
I won’t lie—I was reluctant. It felt like I was letting go of a piece of the truth, a piece of what had happened to me. But then I realized something profound: Holding onto this picture wasn’t helping me. It was just keeping me tied to the hurt, to the past. It was like holding onto a thorn that was never going to heal as long as I kept it in my hand.
The Power of Letting Go
And so, I deleted the picture. Just like that. I let it go. The picture that held the proof of betrayal, the one that kept me anchored to my pain, was gone.
Was it easy? No. Was it quick? Not really. But in that moment, I made the decision to let go—not because the person deserved it, but because I deserved peace. I realized that forgiveness isn’t about excusing the hurt. It’s not about pretending like it didn’t happen or that it didn’t matter. Forgiveness is about choosing to release the grip that the hurt has on you. It’s about saying, “I’m not going to let this keep controlling my life anymore.”
You see, sometimes we hold onto things—people, hurt, anger—because we think that by holding on, we’re somehow protecting ourselves. But in reality, we’re only hurting ourselves more. We’re tying ourselves to the past, to the bitterness, to the pain. And every time we think about it, every time we hold onto it, we’re just digging the wound deeper.
But when we forgive, when we let go, we are setting ourselves free. It doesn’t mean that what was done to us is okay. It doesn’t mean we forget the hurt. But it means that we no longer allow it to define us or control our future.
Forgiveness Is Freedom
I know this journey isn’t easy. I know that sometimes, forgiving someone feels like the hardest thing in the world. But I also know that when we choose forgiveness, we choose freedom. And freedom is something worth fighting for.
Maybe you’re reading this and you’ve been hurt by someone close to you—whether a friend, a family member, a colleague, or even a spouse. Maybe you feel like you’re stuck in the past, like every time you try to move forward, the memory of the hurt pulls you back. I want to encourage you today: Let go. Choose forgiveness, not because they deserve it, but because you do.
For me, deleting that picture wasn’t just about letting go of the evidence of hurt—it was about making space for healing. It was about choosing peace over pain, freedom over bitterness. And when we choose peace, we are not just letting go of the past; we are making room for the future God has called us to.
A Work in Progress
As I share this with you, I have to be honest: I’m still a work in progress. It’s not like I’ve figured out forgiveness perfectly. There are still moments when I feel a sting from past hurts. But I’m learning that forgiveness is a process. And every time I choose to forgive, I am moving one step closer to the peace I’ve been seeking.
So, dear reader, as you read this, remember: forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about you. You are worth more than holding onto bitterness. You deserve peace, and sometimes, the only way to get there is to let go.
‘DELETE THE PICTURE’
Yours Truly,
Sharon Paulina Boye
April 1, 2025
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