Song of the day : I will love – JayMikee
Have you ever been in a situation where no matter what you said or did, it seemed like someone was just determined to make things difficult? I once heard a story from a friend that still sticks with me. She was managing a team for a community project, and one particular colleague seemed to take offense at almost everything.
No matter how many times the team discussed a plan, this colleague would always find something to criticize, even when it didn’t make sense. One time, she suggested a small change to the project that everyone else had agreed upon, and this colleague blew up. He accused her of disregarding his ideas and making decisions behind his back. Despite her efforts to explain, the situation only escalated, and tension started to rise among the entire team.
It became clear that this wasn’t about the project. His frustration wasn’t with the work—it was with something deeper. My friend later found out that he was dealing with personal issues that were affecting his interactions with everyone. What struck me most, though, was how easily the situation could have spiraled into something worse if my friend hadn’t stopped to understand where he was coming from.
In this post, I want to share a few key principles on how to navigate difficult people in a peaceful, Christlike manner. Trust me when I say it’s not always easy, but I’ve learned that when we respond with patience, understanding, and grace, we reflect the peace that God desires for us in every relationship.
- God Wants Us to Live in Peace with Everyone
As Christians, the Bible calls us to live in peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 reminds us, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” In the story I shared, my friend could have chosen to retaliate and escalate the situation, but she chose to maintain peace instead.
In life, where we interact with so many different personalities, conflicts arise. It could be in the office, at home, or even in church. But no matter the situation, we are called to pursue peace. Living in peace with others isn’t just about avoiding conflict—it’s about showing the love and grace that God has shown us, even when it’s hard.
I must add – it is easier said than done. When you are in that moment of your feelings being disrupted , this scripture may be the last thing that comes to mind 🥹. However , we can start a step at a time 📌
- Understand What Might Be Driving Their Behavior
The first step in dealing with a difficult person is understanding what might be driving their behavior. Often, people act out because they are dealing with their own frustrations, insecurities, or personal challenges. In my friend’s case, her colleague was dealing with family troubles and career pressure. This personal burden made it hard for him to separate his frustration from the team’s work.
In life, it’s easy to take things personally, but it’s important to recognize that the problem often isn’t about you—it’s about what that person is going through. Just like my friend took time to understand her colleague’s struggles, we can do the same by looking beyond surface-level actions and empathizing with what might be causing someone’s difficult behavior.
Sometimes , the problem is actually about YOU THOUGH! I will talk about that in another blog post ❤️
- Some People Get Offended by the Smallest Things
I’ve heard countless stories where misunderstandings started over something seemingly insignificant. You’ve probably been there: You greet someone casually with a “Morning!” instead of a formal “Good morning!” or make a lighthearted joke, and suddenly the mood shifts. It happens in families, friendships, and workplaces. Someone gets offended, and it can turn into a bigger issue than it should have been.
As Christians, we are called to respond to such situations with patience. Matthew 5:9 says, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” In those moments when people get offended over trivial matters, the best course of action is often to let it go. Don’t allow those small things to disrupt your peace. Life is too short to let minor misunderstandings dictate your mood or how you see the world.
- Stay Calm and Don’t Take It Personally
In the heat of a moment, it’s easy to feel like everything is personal. Someone raises their voice, gives unsolicited advice, or criticizes you, and it feels like an attack on your character. But here’s the truth: Not everything a difficult person says or does is about you.
Whether it’s a loud argument at a family gathering or a tense meeting at work, maintaining your composure is key. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” When we stay calm and don’t let their frustration take hold of us, we can prevent the situation from escalating.
There is a Yoruba proverb which teaches us that when we remain calm, the efforts of others to provoke us become meaningless.
Like my friend, who chose to remain peaceful rather than retaliate, we too can disarm negativity with calmness and grace.
Sharon Paulina Boye
March 24, 2025
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