Dear Soldier,
Happy New Month! May you enjoy the peace of God this month. Amen.
Welcome back! Let us jump right back into our discussion about forgiveness. Check out the last post for more insights! 😊
As I pondered the perplexing issue of unforgiveness, a revelation dawned on me. Reflecting on Jesus’ command to forgive “70 x 7 times,” it struck me that He would not offer such guidance without a profound understanding of human nature. Afterall, he came as a Human being and very well understood how bad misunderstandings can get at times.
One of the keys to handling unforgiveness, I believe, lies in addressing a root cause—pride. As I thought deeply on this issue, I was reminded that unforgiveness and anger, often stem from pride. Rather than delving into the usual advice like taking time to heal or having a conversation, let us explore a more realistic solution—getting to the core of why we were offended in the first place.
Now, I want to be clear that certain hurts, like those arising from the likes of physical and emotional abuse, may require a different approach. I am however, addressing those whose wounds parallel my own experiences, where offense arises from a bruised ego, that was what God exposed as my fault in all this.
Haha, it was a real eye-opener! Who knew pride could be the sneaky culprit, right? It is like getting a loving reality check from your friend (God)! Spending time with God means getting some straight-up honesty from our Heavenly Father. You know, the whole “chastising those He loves” deal? And hey, do not forget, He’s also the ultimate truth guide. So, next time you are seeking guidance from your friend and father, get ready for some humorously blunt feedback with a touch of warmth and love, of course!
The crux of the matter is this: your anger and distress leading to unforgiveness find their origins in the offense your pride endured. It’s that unique sting when someone should have known better than to treat you in such a manner. This pride-induced hurt runs deep, making it challenging even to conjure the grace to pray for them. In the realm of wounded pride, the refrain becomes, “I’d rather witness their suffering than waste my prayers on them.” It’s a profoundly human struggle—one where the battle lines between hurt and healing are drawn within the intricate contours of our own pride.
Oh, man, I cannot deny that feeling! It is like a whirlwind of emotions swirling around, leaving you wondering if you’re confused, angry, annoyed, or just plain sad. Maybe it’s just one of those “female things,” but gosh, it’s frustrating, isn’t it? And as if that is not enough, being a Christian adds a whole new layer to the mix. Suddenly, you are not just dealing with your own reactions – you’ve got to navigate this whole “speak in love” thing. I mean you know better, than to act like an UNTRAINED SOLIDER. Talk about a challenge! Sometimes, you cannot help but question if you’re cut out for this whole Christianity gig, right? But hey, maybe that’s part of the journey – figuring out how to stay true to your faith even when it is tough. Haha, the struggle is real!
As I wrote this post, this song came to mind. Listen and remain blessed: Save me From Myself by Min. Theophilus Sunday
Dealing with the real issue
Now, before you dismiss this post and distance yourself, thinking, ‘I AM NOT PROUD’ take a moment to ponder. Why exactly are you upset with your mother or brother? What really did your father do or say that is making you upset every time you think about it. What is the underlying cause? Perhaps you’re thinking, “She spoke to me like that in public,” or “He used demeaning words, comparing me to something less than I am.” It could even be about a message that wasn’t well-received, and you feel they should have known better not to respond that way.
Ever had someone hang up on you after a heated argument? The argument itself might not be the main source of your frustration; it is the audacity of them hanging up or walking out on you that stings. The underlying annoyance carries a punch – “You’re older than them, you’ve explicitly told her not to do this before, and yet she did it; how dare she walk out on me?” “Why did he shout on you , in front of other people?”
Sounds familiar, right? Keep reading.
I empathize with you because no one should be spoken less of, and nobody deserves disrespect. I truly understand how it feels – like someone poured water on your efforts to build self-esteem. We are all working on ourselves, and it’s incredibly frustrating when someone adds a damper to that effort. I get it.
However, consider this: your frustration stems from the implicit understanding that they should not treat you that way. It is a blow to your ego (whether you are male or female). In essence, it is a matter of pride – the feeling that they have violated your sense of self-worth and respect.
Instead of offering steps to cope with unforgiveness, let us explore steps to tackle the root issue – pride. Embracing the wisdom of Bruce Lee, “Empty your cup so that it may be filled; become devoid to gain totality,” provides a profound insight into the solution. By emptying ourselves of ego and self-centeredness, we create space for genuine humility, love, understanding, and forgiveness to flourish.
This post is a gentle tap on the shoulder, prompting some deep reflection. It’s like a reminder to pause and really think about why you’re feeling upset or holding onto that grudge, if you are. Sometimes, we need that moment of realization to dig deep and understand our own emotions. It’s all about taking that first step towards healing and reconciliation. So, dear soldier, take a breath and ask yourself, “Why am I really angry or not feeling cool with this person?” It’s the start of something powerful.
If pride is at the root of your feelings, take the rest of the week to turn inward and seek guidance through prayer. Reach out to God with a heartfelt plea: “LORD, SAVE ME FROM MYSELF, SAVE ME FROM THIS PRIDE, HELP ME.”
Remember, dear Soldier, the journey to forgiveness begins within you. It’s a process of self-reflection, surrender, and transformation. Allow yourself the grace to acknowledge your pride and the courage to confront it head-on.
And please, don’t rush yourself to forgive. Healing takes time and letting go of hurt can be a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and trust that every step you take towards forgiveness is a step towards freedom and inner peace.
Stay tuned for the upcoming blog post releasing next Wednesday, where we’ll continue to shed light on this transformative journey.
Until then, remember, Philippians 3:14, “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus”
Yours,
Sharon Paulina Boye
February 7, 2024
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