“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” – George MacDonald.
According to Merriam Webster, Trust is a firm belief in the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something, its the ability to place confidence in a person or thing.
“Huge misunderstandings can occur when we talk about “trust.” If you say you don’t trust someone, do you mean you don’t believe they are honest or do you mean you don’t believe you can depend on them to get the job done on time? If someone says they don’t trust you, what exactly don’t they trust?”- Jesse Lyn Stoner
One thing I’ve come to realize is, the younger we are, the easier it’s for us to trust others.
As we grew older, due to perhaps some experiences we have had, perhaps personal or from a distance, we are less prone to trusting people.
So to my question, “Have you ever trusted someone before? “
If yes, do you still trust the person today?
Frankly speaking, there are different levels to this thing called, “Trust”, and the levels also depend on the kind of relationship you have with that person.
For example, the trust relationship you may have with a family member is most likely going to be different from that which you have with a colleague at work. In fact, the information you share with the various parties is based on the kind of relationship, you have with them.
There are 4 main types of relationships we are considering today, they are; professional, personal, family and social.
Randy Conley, identified 3 levels of trust in every relationship. He says, “The first level of trust in every relationship is, “deterrence-based trust”, or what I like to call, “rules-based” trust. This is the most fundamental, base level of trust in all relationships. Deterrence-based trust means that there are rules in place that prevent one person from taking advantage of harming another person. In society, we have laws that govern our behavior in personal and business settings. When we engage in business we have contracts that ensure one party can trust another to hold up their end of the bargain. In organizations, we have policies and procedures that provide boundaries for how we interact and treat each other, and if we violate those rules, usually there are consequences involved.
The second level of trust is, “knowledge-based trust”. This level of trust means that I’ve had enough experience with you and knowledge of your behavior that I have a pretty good idea of how you will react and behave In a relationship with me. Because my experience with you has shown that you have my best interests in mind and will do what you say you’ll do (integrity), I feel safe enough to trust you in our everyday dealings. This is the level of trust that most of our day-to-day professional relationships experience.
The third and most intimate level of trust we experience in relationships is called,” identity-based trust”. This level of trust means that you know my hopes, dreams, goals, ambitions, fears, and doubts. I trust you at this level because over the course of time I have increased my level of transparency and vulnerability with you and you haven’t taken advantage of me. You’ve proven yourself to be loyal, understanding, and accepting.
Identity-based trust isn’t appropriate for every relationship. This level of trust is usually reserved for the most important people in our lives such as our spouse, children, family, and close friends. Yet with the proper boundaries in place, this level of trust can unlock higher levels of productivity, creativity, and performance in organizations. Imagine an organizational culture where we operated freely without concerns of being stabbed in the back by power-hungry colleagues looking to move higher on the corporate ladder. Imagine less gossiping, backbiting, or dirty politics being played because we knew each other’s hopes and dreams and worked to encourage their development rather than always having a me-first attitude.
Take a moment to examine the level of trust in your most important relationships. What level are you at with each one and how can you develop deeper levels of trust in your relationship ?”
Next week, we will be looking deeper into this topic called, “trust”.
See you then😄
Boye Paulina Sharon
27th March 2020
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